I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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