I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
