i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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