Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
