Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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