so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize