I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
