she kept yelling 'call me bella'
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize