Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
My vagina just recognized that song.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize