yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
