Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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