why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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