True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
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