I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
