My brain says no but my pants say off.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize