do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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