Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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