Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
