i don't plan on having that self control this summer
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize