I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
