I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
