After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
