I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
