thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
