the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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