Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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