8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Success! We fucked roommates!
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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