He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Oh god it's open bar.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
