I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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