Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize