i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
