I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Alive.
So much puke
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
