Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
