dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
