Having a random hookup so left but love u
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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