Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
