i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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