Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Randomize
