entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
