sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
