Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
