I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
