Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
