guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
