As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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