can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Alive.
So much puke
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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