I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
