Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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