There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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