In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Nicole vs. Life
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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