Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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