I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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