Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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