PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
