Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Randomize
