Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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