If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
