I must be too annoying 4 u.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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