i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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