I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
