Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
