every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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